It’s tuesday again and I’m not sure I know what to write about this time around. I have started on a few ideas, one being about my struggles with writing an artist statement which was on the path of being a re-run of my post “The First Mark…”. So that got erased. There is an exhibition coming up at school that I’m nervous about and started to write about how I don’t know if I should do it and blah blah blah. Then I felt I sounded like a skinny girl complaining I was fat just so someone would comment and say, “Oh you are so not fat and you are definitely good enough to enter work into a show with a bunch of other art students.” Which made me think, Why do I need someone else to confirm that I am fully capable of doing something I already know I can do?
When it comes to my art it is easier for me to do a cart wheel in 5in heels then say that I am good at anything artistic. (I should probably let you know that I can not do a cartwheel barefoot) Yet, I got a scholarship to a respected Art School. I showed them what I am capable of and they essentially paid me a large sum to make sure I attended their school. So what else needs to happen for me to believe in myself?
It is annoying and makes me look stupid. ‘Hi. My name is Ren. I am a current art student but I am not that good at art.’
If I don’t accept that I am good enough, I’m not going to be.